Friday, November 16, 2001

oooh i am starving. i think i am in the mood for a steak. yes. a steak. nice and bloody. did the karaoke thing last nite. didn't do so hot whilst singin' when i'm sixty-four. ah well. i made the toilet overflow even more in the ladies room,


"perhaps if i flush it again it'll fix itself."


three drunk girls agreed i should do it. so i did. then water splashed everywhere. i grab a waitress and all innocently tell her i believe some idiot made the toilet overflow in the ladies room.


just doin' my job.

Thursday, November 15, 2001

i sometimes enjoy being hungover


only when i don't have any plans


like real important things to do


on the day of being hungover


being hungover and alone on the couch in your ugly jogging pants is the best


you can talk out loud to yourself and watch infomercials


all the while


you are awake, but not really

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

a bus driver screamed at me in front of like fifty people today. i was suppose to buy my ticket in advance, but i didn't, so the dude's all, "You are suppose to BUY this in the station! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! Are you an IDIOT!?" lucky for him i was hungover as shit and not quite awake otherwise i'da said more than, "Unnnngh, ummm, yah uhh, well i've never had to buy my ticket in advance before...." well, i'm not certain i would have mouthed off. i don't take to confrontations very well. i think they take a year or two off my life.



i decided to wear tight pants yesterday. tight jeans, rolled up (mod-esque), so u can see my white socks and these dorky little sneakers. oh rite, suspenders too. You know when u get this idea in your head that you are going to wear the coolest outfit, u plan it all out, u model it in front of the mirror over and over again and do all these dumb poses and stretches to see how you would look if you were like dancing or sitting or standing, well, anyway, i did that last nite. i just didn't factor in all the drinks i might consume and how that might affect the tightness of the said paints. all in all, it worked out. i think. played bingo at this bar i really like, came close to winning a vibrator. this fat, asian dude beat me. fucker.


eating pizza when i'm shitfaced is very important.
the only thought in my mind is, "i will do anything to eat pizza." a bomb could take out half the bar i was drinking in and it would phase me in the least. i turn into this big tard and all i talk about is cheese pizza. i might even get desperate. this is why it's a good idea to hang out with someone who needs to eat when they're smashed, just like you.

Monday, November 12, 2001

"According to your Anxiety Test results, you are slightly more anxious than necessary. In some situations, you function very well and are able to use coping strategies, but in others anxiety may get the better of you. Although these occasional feelings of anxiousness may not be interfering with your life to any serious degree, you can nonetheless benefit from building your repertoire of stress-fighting strategies. "

shhhit...


it's now something like 4:45 in the morning and i'm taking an online anxiety test. someone please tell me to go to bed. unnnnnnngh.

i feel like a robot. i am a fucking robot.

there's this sign hangin' from the ceiling at work that i have tried to reach for 3.5 years. yesterday i took a running jump at it over fifty times but still can't touch the durn thing. tomorrow i will eat a powershake and conquer that mo'fo sign!

alright so let me explain the drunken post.


went to three drinking establishments last nite. one, a pub. two, a bar w/ dancefloor. three, a nudey bar.


misplaced many things, walked into something and hurt my shoulder (now have big nasty bruise). practically give all my money to dancin' sluts. guys i went with turned into assholes. two black dudes try to convince me to leave the club with them. went home. passed out.


i bring the people information.


click that link bitch.


All you need to know about queefs


Sunday, November 11, 2001

i am so beyone shitfaced i have no idea how i was able to funki turn on my goddam compiuter fuckin fuck i cant believbe i do t have alcohol poisoning went to strip clun gaVE ALL MY money away take it fuck in ho slut cootie qhore take my 5 dollar billl cock teasing dfuclker all boy frineds are fucks get nmad i get hit on by dudes not my fault assholwe trash fuckers excuse me while i go throw up and pass out and walk into oncoming trasffic. fucker i g odie now