i am iron B deficient. this means when i get sick, i get sick. Mo'fo. i turn into this brittle old lady type person who walks around all hunched over and puts a blanket over their legs when they sit down on the couch. fuckin' hell. if i were to drink a beer right 'bout now it'd be like taking acid - hallucination city. my head weighs fifty pounds, i have the hugest, darkest circles under my eyes like that of a crackwhore and my hair has gone to shit. it hurts to think, to eat, to lie down....i can't even get my shit together enough to make soup.

here's me being a drunk slut in NYC, soho/lil italy. i just finished bartending and i am trying to figure out if we should go to another bar or go to the grocery store and buy me some food. whenever i bartended i'd be wasted 30 minutes into the nite, then i'd drop things, walk real slow and yell at people. i believe we ended up going to the supermarket and then got my drunk-ass home to bed.
this shot was taken in august, note the short hair. that day i was stopped by two british broads and they asked me all about my outfit and what i felt my "fashion sense" was and yadda yadda ya....they wanted the opinion of a true New Yorker so i went along with it and rattled off a slew of meaningless, long-winded answers about oldskool versus newskool and vintage and modern. i basically spoke a lot about nothing, they took my picture and left. it was a hot day and i was trying to find a liquor store. then i got stopped again around the meat-packing district to be in the background of this jeans ad or whatever. i had to make like i was running, in a hurry. they re-did the shot many times, i finally lost patience and walked-off. meh.

i've just realized that i swear a lot. And other people are noticing as well. like every other sentence has an "f this" "f that" "shut the f up" and it's like i can't stop doing it. i am embarassed. my vocabulary is now reduced to that of only a handful of cuss words. i swear in front of old ladies, customers, your mother, important people you're not suppose to swear in front of.....Jesus, how do i stop? perhaps i've Tourette's Syndrome? and why not? i already suffer from plenty of nervous habits and ticks amongst many other ridiculous compulsive things i do on a regular basis like twiddling my fingers, picking at my face, counting all the letters in words of sentences to figure out if the sentence is odd or even, you know, basic nervous habits. ffuk.

shhit.