i just manically cleaned the bathroom because today i am polish. then i am going to wash the duvet and sheets and pillow covers. i have accomplished many things today like brushing and whitening my teeth and posting ten times on my blog and making a fort for the cat out of the comforter and i made myself a double espresso and couscous lentil curry soup.

yesterday i told fil to fuck off cos he said i should have done the laundry earlier, see, SEXIST! then we walked separately in the rain to the movie theatre and i sent him five mean voicemails being all OMG WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!? then i saw him first outside the theatre but pretended i didn't cos i am a spy and then he walked over to me on his fone and i was all like super casual, "hey" it was pretty decent of me.

back to being polish the first day i met agatha she was wearing a kercheif on her head and i am all WHAT ARE YOU A POLISH CLEANING LADY? and then i said a racist polish joke, racist, i meant _funny_ polish joke and turns out she IS polish.

then i'm all in a corner being like, so, you understand this joke then right?

later on that nite once everyone was wasted tamara was all over my boydate and i screamed at her IF YOU'RE A DYKE WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE IT!? that was a very good first impression i made and then we left.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY



so the MRI was easy except for my laying down position was not exactly comfortable, i scrunched my neck up kinda and so i stayed that way for twenty minutes with all these crazy noises going off at my head and at one point i thought i had accidentally hit the panic button but no i had not it was just the machine doing it's thing. i think i even fell asleep. i showed up drunk. the nurse was kind of bitchy. i could see her eating a sandwich and drinking juice through that mirror above my eyes. telescope mirror.

i am boring.

i have not stayed over once at my new place in toronto yet.

i think i will tomorrow.

there's a show at the drake that is suppose to be good. a band called mommy and daddy from new york. go to it.



the sole of my old man shoe of the right foot is partially loose and has been that way for a long time and i have yet to do anything about it other than collecting cat hairs and cobwebs and dust fluffs and by the time i leave the apartment to go outside there is a gigantic sculpture of crap sticking out of the front of my shoe and it's the closest thing to vacuuming the place ever receives.

ps. i just burned part of my forehead with the hair iron and it feels GREAT!

someone get me this camera and i will do ten podcasts daily!!!!!111

if raymi's blog ended:
	i would be quite upset.
	even though i can't stand raymi i would miss her blog.
	i would get a petition signed for raymi to start blogging again.
	i could care less.
	i would take over her reign!
	i would get a life.
	i would feel lost.
	i would probably go online less.
	i would become obsessed with someone else' blog.
	i would start a where is raymi/tribute blog.
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i bought jPod last nite and i am fully geeking my way through it. it's over 500 pages i hope i finish it in time for the nerd reading with courtney and fil on the 23rd. i haven't met coupland yet, you'd think i would have by now, but no. i've heard stories about how he's pompous or whatever i don't care i'm just gonna say look dude, microserfs drove me crazy, for real. thanks for that. peace.

what happened is i read it over ten times and pretty much had it memorized and at the height of my bipolarity and crazy sketchiness in my life i was drawing back on it as reference and mixing that up with reality and it was pretty scary, for those around me at least, for me, i thought i was like some super duper smart person.

DON'T SMOKE DOPE!

dogs are dumb

i want to squeeze them and kiss them all at the same time!

we saw mi-3 last nite, it was alright. in every tom cruise movie when he takes his shirt off he does the same fucking I AM TOM CRUISE TAKING OFF MY SHIRT move where he's all intensely looking at the girl, sorry dude, i would fully bust up laughing if i was in the room and saw you do that neck crane SHE IS THE CENTRE OF MY MOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSE eye contact crap.

maybe he knows what it's all about though, maybe we all should be making grandiose productions of removing articles of clothing, like when you take off your work socks you can roll them down your legs like THEY'RE ON FIRE and then totally fucking launch them across the room like you are some mexican baseball pitcher, i dunno.

back to mi-3, there's at least 30 parts in the movie where you will be WHAT THE FUCK NOT POSSIBLE for example how his wife brings him back to life after he electrocutes himself cos there's a microchip bomb in his fucking head and so she brings him back to life by means of oldschool CPR and then resorts to punching and pounding on his chest and IT WORKS!



it's good to know that i can put live power lines into a bowl of water and put a popsicle stick between my teeth and then have my wife pull the switch and zap the hell out of myself and i will totally come back to life.

uh maybe you shouldn't have read the last two paragraphs if you didn't want the end spoiled for you.

whatever. it's still worth seeing, fil liked it.

the best line is when lawrence fishburne says DON'T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS.

and at the end of the film when it got all silent and right before the credits began i yelled out SCIIIIENNNTOOOOLOGYYYYYYY!

my green thai curry turned out very professional tasting.

the people in this building are complete assholes when it comes to laundry, if our clothes are left in the washer or dryer for 5 minutes too long they are violently thrown onto one of the counters in a big confusing mess, like holy rageaholics i'm sorry you are a hundred years old and live and die by the laundry clock but fuck, touch my laundry again and i will fucking kill you.

how's that for rageahol!

i am
	male 14-20
	female 14-20
	male 20-30
	female 20-30
	male 30-40
	female 30-40
	male 40-50
	female 40-50
	male 50-60
	female 50-60
Free polls from Pollhost.com

fil's wish

so tonite master chef raymi, that's me, will be preparing a chicken and rice green thai curry dish with tomato, green onion, zuccini and mushrooms. i may or may not add the mushrooms, they might take over flavor-wise, tho there will also be spinach in it hi i am domesticated.

i flicked a cigarette at samir's mouth/chin last nite by mistake.

i was trying to get him in the chest.

i felt bad too, mostly cos there were witnesses. i don't like it when people outside of our circle know how evil i am.

when we left samir played the megatouch machine like it was a keyboard to the beat of the 80s music that was on and on our way back to the condo he said some shit, making fun of me with fil and i said YEAH I'M GOING TO FILE THAT UNDER NOT FUNNY.

it's true.

look my crazy bird picture has a new home in willheim's studio!



also, samir is gay! who knew?

last nite after le pub with samir we switched sides of the bed so fil could spoon me and play with my tits and he goes NICE CANS and then it was like something more was going to happen and perhaps the thought of it bade fil an overwhelming wave of exhaustion cos he fell asleep instantly with his hand on my right boob, snoring.

raymi says:

and then u throw in the odd raymi shut up comment

raymi says:

when i start speaking my mind

sodasamson says:

ahhhh

raymi says:

or sharing my feelings

sodasamson says:

just because it's not the Raymi show?

raymi says:

no

raymi says:

u always cut me off and tell me that i am SO 23

raymi says:

and like when im 30 u will just call me old and ugly and no longer relevant

sodasamson says:

haha

sodasamson says:

what's with you and being relevant?

raymi says:

ungh

raymi says:

u dont take me seriously



raymi says:

u are also sexist

sodasamson says:

haha

sodasamson says:

I take you seriously

raymi says:

yeh sure

sodasamson says:

are we gonna fight all night

raymi says:

when u disagree with me u call me 23 or u talk over me

raymi says:

NO

raymi says:

this is fun

sodasamson says:

is this what I have to look forward to

raymi says:

ungh

sodasamson says:

you're 23

sodasamson says:

23

raymi says:

u also have fagging off with my boyfriend to look forward to

raymi says:

I KNOW IM 23 BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING

raymi says:

so what you are 30 and dusty and your balls are OLD

sodasamson says:

lol

raymi says:

u also say lol



raymi says:

old people say that

sodasamson says:

okay let's hug and make up

raymi says:

open up the window and let some of the old out

sodasamson says:

stop being bitchy or I'm not going out

raymi says:

do u want me to bring you some ensure

raymi says:

im not being bitchy im joking with you

raymi says:

its annoying isnt it when u play the age game

sodasamson says:

I'm not annoyed

raymi says:

what are you going to eat tonite

raymi says:

are u going to be drunklor

sodasamson says:

I may be drunklor if phil picks me up

raymi says:

he totally will

raymi says:

if u call him he'll tell u right away cos its me calling i am not as important he says "i will call you back"

raymi says:

fil is also sexist



raymi says:

that whole "philogynist" shit is a lie

raymi says:

when u come here i want u to yell at every single kid in the park

raymi says:

maybe bring a microphone and we'll plug it into fils amp

sodasamson says:

only if you stand next to me topless

raymi says:

AHAHAHAHA

raymi says:

and the moms will be all well i never

raymi says:

and the dads will be uh, look away...timmy....

raymi says:

and fil can play his bass

raymi says:

with no pants on

sodasamson says:

haha

raymi says:

SINGLOR SAMIR

sodasamson says:

totes

raymi says:

arent u older than 30?

sodasamson says:

yes I am older then 30

sodasamson says:

what are you posting

raymi says:

how old are you

sodasamson says:

33

raymi says:

heh

sodasamson says:

WHAT ARE YOU posting

raymi says:

HAHAHAHA

raymi says:

i am dressed like a total skank

raymi says:

http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/2006/05/raymi-says-and-then-u-throw-in-odd.html

raymi says:

i need to find a dumb picture of you

i have a question.

ok so you know how cabbage patch dolls have a specific doll called a preemie, is that suppose to represent a premature baby? if it isn't then why don't they just call it a cabbage patch baby? and if it is a preemie why is there a preemie doll and then a toddler cabbage patch doll why did they just skip babies? and if it IS a premature baby then WHAT THE FUCK is it going to sell better cos it is like a freak of nature miracle of life baby, are the cabbage patch people cristian or something?

next out will it be aborted fetus cabbage patch kids? AWESOME!

or what about miscarriages? aw SO ADORABLE i <3 my misscarriage doll! collect them all!

gross.

what about thalidomide dolls and down syndrome babies and conjoined at the face twins eh!?

dictionary.com says that a preemie is a prematurely born infant so i can only assume that's what cabbage patch was going for. nice one dudes!



well there's such thing as babyland but where's preemieland cos i would rather go there cos babies are ugly and preemies are not. is it just me or do they look uglier now then when they first came out? their noses are wider.



ps. that fake high five is the best! maybe they're not high-fiving maybe that nurse is going to slap that little girl. i didn't know cpk was so hardcore!

moms ready to fuck my friend

look who's #1 !

ok i am fully convinced now that the kids in the park are retarded in some shape or form, or they're wrong side of the tracks kids or something i dunno, they're playing marco polo and there's no pool and they're yelling and screaming like wild animals. i want to tell them to shut up but then they might throw rocks thru the windows. they're not even being supervised. last week i saw them get one kid on the roof of the public toilet and he started screaming and crying and no one did anything about it, not even me. fun!

oh yeah fil stopped blogging, don't know why. he just told me yesterday out of the blue. he might start up again, who knows. he might write on my blog i asked him if he wanted to.

dirtbag raymi et blond girl

so i saw a shrink-dude yesterday and he told me some interesting things. he was one of the guys who initially admitted me when i was all froot loops and he told me from my blood and urine samples taken, my canabis levels were abnormally high (high, ha) but yeh, like super duper DUPER high so i asked if i had done any permanent brain damage or something and he, come to think of it, changed the subject. he said it stays in your system for two months so prior to crazy hospital i was smoking like 4 times a day sometimes more.

anyway.

i told him about how much i drink and he said some smart stuff then i said some more stuff and then said bye.

BIBLE BREW

what would jesus brew?

in my place




GO DAD performs Mrs. Robinson

don't be too impressed now!

FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY!

Tuesday, May 08, 2001

"ok. whats hotter?"

a girl who can roll a nice joint and smoke with theboys while keepin chill as well as bein entertaining

or

a hot girl with big tits who wears a mini skirt at all times but is dumb as shit and doesnt smoke dope cause it makes her tired???


this is what Raymi thinks



the girl who is smart and can roll is better because she is most likely the better lay. hot girls just lay there like cold fishes cuz they think their hot/dumbness is enough to get 'em by. the girl who rolls joints is cuter and friskier cuz she'll wrestle with you in her cute boy clothes and jump into a pool with you fully-clothed and then she's all wet and hyper and ready to go. the "hot" girl is annoying and high-maintenance and a pain to be around cuz all she talks about is her clothes and what such-and-such is up to and she probably never shaves her snatchHair. ew. the rolling-joint girl will let you show her your boner and will let you look at her pussy when she's all baked and will sleep over with you and cuddle. the "hot"girl has to go home early to get her beauty rest and she is uncomfortable in her high heels and short skirt sitting cross-legged at the bush party and she can't run and jump around with the rest of the boys, she has to stand there with her arms-crossed, sober as a stone and sighing. she is also a bitch and manipulates the dorkiest, loser of the bunch into driving her home.


the girl who rolls yer joints has the potential to be drop-dead-gorgeous when the time calls for it and u'll want her more, kuz when you hang with someone who is a hottie and they look and dress like a hottie all the time, you are de-sensitized to it and eventually, they are not hot anymore. you are more appreciative of the rolling-joint-girl and her hotness when she gets all dressed-up and you eagerly run to hump and hug her cuz she'll let you, the hot girl won't let you kuz she has to be an open-card to all you boys, cuz you must all like her and if it appears she likes one of you over the other than she is a failure and must branch-off to another group where she can hold you all in the palm of her hand. once you see the "hot" girl all dressed-down and casual like the rolling-joint girl, she looks out of place and still has her cake-face make up on and looks like a clown in sweatpants, all name-brand and squeaky clean.