MOLEY!

raymi's status is HITLER ZIT

Ryan: paint it black
hitler zit. paint it black !

me: ha

Ryan: let's talk drinks i've never slept in 40 hours now

me: oh man no u need to sleep

Ryan: i see in your future a great hunger for a beer
i know im no good to anyone or myself without like a nap but like
after this nazareth song ill nap

me: dude theres a brew in the fridge i might hit it

Ryan: ddddooooo iiiit

me: after this nazareth song ill nap hahahhaha

Ryan: fuuuckkk yeah ARE YOU GONNA DO IT
YA YOU ARE
hahah i am typing with one hand because my fist is A ROCKIN' IN THE AIR

me: not yet im too busy playing with a chin hair and fantasizing about plucking it

Ryan: aw shit it's over

me: which song was it

Ryan: can't you name it and tell the hipsters that you are a gardener but instead of lame flowers you cultivate chin hairs
this flight tonight of course

me: i have one that grows every week under my chin
couple others too
it's from a scab that used to be there from a wound

Ryan: haha i get unexplained hairs too
maybe scabs? could scabs be the reason? wounds?

me: sometimes i forget and then one day im out and theres an inch long hair
well it kept scabbing and i kept picking at it and wouldnt let it heal
lucky i dont have a scar

Ryan: my cousin no lie has a hair growing out of his nipple that was 4 feet long once, and just one hair
nail clippers lil bic shaver?

me: wtf
why did he let it grow

Ryan: same as why you and me notice a hair like an inch long like
you just don't notice
hahah we measured it in science glass

me: GROSS

Ryan: i mean class
i know

me: i am picturing this and i dont want to be

Ryan: well mine grow outta my moles
yeah don't

me: ok molenough

Ryan: i can't grow facial hair it sucks

me: tho i have one on my wrist and i rip out the hair when it is long enough with my fingers

Ryan: this is getting molerboard

me: people in thunder bay cant grow facial hair

Ryan: yeah i bite the one on my wrist off
it's always black

me: let me help molevate you

Ryan: that's because they're indians raymi
hahah
i need a mole lot of inspiration like it keeps happening i'm tempted to just say hi these are my moles and that's the black hair that grows out of it
i'm ridiculous i have blonde body hair black stubble brown hair and once i found an auburn hair like all i'm missing is red

me: are you one of those overly mole people

Ryan: no no if i were a girl you could call them beauty marks cause like

me: talking about hairs and moles is making me feel queasy

Ryan: they're in ok places
i understand me too. what's the opposite of queasy
easy?
let's talk drinks
i see a healthy hunger for vodka in my future
are we like fa-mole-y now

me: oh god

Ryan: i got nothin

me: i am farting into my towel into the couch

Ryan: hahah does it squeak
are there people who would buy that towel, gross
i don't want to make you puke or anything but i remember i was havin a smoke with a guy who'd been in jail for so long
and some tightie walks by and he goes all wide-eyed and pervy and foaming and goes "oh man i'd drink HER bathwater"
hahah fuck i laughed

me: ungh pleasant

Ryan: another fart or
the story

me: story

Ryan: yeah some people's children

me: im trying to think of something more disgusting to share

Ryan: s to the megma buddy

me: i walked by this frat dude two nites ago who had a 180 degree pile of spew all around him on the sidewalk and all his buds were dancing around with tallboys in their hands
i almost stopped and scolded them
like come on take care of your friend
thats the diff between girls and guys

Ryan: haha dancing to puke

me: girls like to take care of the situation immediately
guys use it as entertainment opportunities

Ryan: i know but i like to be left alone and not looked at if i'm sick from the drink
like lemme lay down somewhere for awhile on my side i'll be ok so i let it go
i saw my friend hit the beak of his hat with his puke once, holding it in, rushing to a sink - like you said, i laughed

me: hahahahha
aw

Ryan: maternal instincts are all well and fine but if you catch me unable to stand just lemme hang out on the ground for awhile

me: ok i dont like mental pictures of spew

Ryan: yeah ok well imagine i was on mushrooms and it looked like a gay rainbow
i haven't puked from drinking in yyears actually
i'll stop the grossout festival

me: i love that scene in tenacious d the pick of destiny when hes on shrooms and thinks he is in a strawberry red river floating lazily down it with all these magical colours and nice music but really hes going down a fast rapid of dirty cold river water at nite and its freezing out
the cut-to is the best
i want to find it on youtube



Ryan: hahah yeah or like simpsons where willie's making out with a rake

me: and his face is getting all clawed

gill's bday chez wrong bar

just a sprinkling for now





sometimes i bat a thousand you guys.



lucas and i made gogo dancing history together back in the day, upon speaking about it we pulled out a selection of moves that may or may not have been phenom. retardo looking.



i told him i wanted to dance challenge pink hat guy, he said no he's filipino, you will lose. i was half-cut anyway and the disco ball rotation was making the room feel diagonally slanted so i packed it in. i got your number pink hat, look out next time. lucas is part filipino so i told him to dance off that guy, he would not.






gill and her pa.



oh yeah i poured half a bottle of champagne all over the floor and a table (thought it was empty) in front of allison then introduced myself and she goes yeah we've met i'm like well maybe if you weren't so selfish and got a new hairstyle i would have recognized you and way to be in the darkest part of the room too. she had her hair up in the babest bun ever, see:



k bye i'm starving it's balls hot out, there's nothing to eat here and fil has been playing metroid all day long THANKS AGAIN RENE!

lover, you should have come over

what'cha think you're gonna do thats worthwhile when theres nothin new

so i got a store credit for my ripped shirt, they didn't have it at this location so i got a new dress instead, and another one. i was pretty close to getting the marimekko bikini or trying it on rather.


this is a size 6, smallest they had in black, the sizing at h&m is wonky, 8s feel like 6s, 4s look like 10s. sigh.


holy pipes much?



this is a 4.



i bought this too.





i was half feelin' this polygamy dress, i think it was a 6 or an 8, either way it was way too much material and a total sweat magnet.


cute though with pockets, i like the A-line thing happening right now.


when am i expecting?


and this would be the dumpy potato angle.


oh hi we has a winner.


this was taken at the end of the nite before bed.


just a bit loadedskies.



help there's a ghost after bonin' me!


alas, the only penis i got last nite (fil's sick).

and you wound up on an island of shells and bones

the sun looked pretty on my walk to return my dress/shirt.


ghetto nutritious soup, this time w/ onion soup and spinach added.


blackberry mocha yogurt (no sugar) smoothie

hey claire danes! i'm such an idiot, i was bloated and ugly, but i should have invited you to lunch and then i went home and saw your picture on a celebrity database and right now i am in the middle of constructing a time machine to go back and scoop you!

fuckin' missed connections i am this close to blowing you up.

i don't mean to break your heart into a million pieces but

WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!



that is all.

no it isn't, i suggest a cuteoverload for inanimate objects like buttons and ribbons and omfg drooooool who am i martha stewart fuck i'm getting old.